The Dance of Forgotten Memories~ Phantasmagoria
Many people have asked me “Why do you go by the name Lux Aeterna Imaging?” The answer to this question is both simple and complex and I will give it as best I can. Lux Aeterna is Latin for eternal light. At this point many of you may be thinking well photography in essence is the capturing of light, this is not why I chose this name, it goes much deeper than that. I have always had a passion for the arts: drawing and painting, photography, music and dance, and theater. When I was younger I played violin, took dance lessons, participated in both school and community musical theater as well as taking art classes, I was also very sick. This is the first time I am ever publicly talking about any of this, and it is not easy, but hopefully my story can help someone else.
When I was eight years old I was diagnosed with a rare and untreatable autoimmune disease, I wasn’t suppose to survive. While I didn’t stay at home feeling sorry for myself waiting for the disease to take me, I would be lying if I said it didn’t intrinsically change and form who I am as a person. I can tell you that I was determined to live, I stayed active in extracurricular activities, I was a competitive swimmer, and I applied to colleges like the rest of my friends. Outwardly I developed a rather morbid sense of humor, on the inside I was in turmoil. I struggled with sever depression, and at the age of 13 I developed an eating disorder. By the time I was 15 I had turned to self-mutilation as a way to deal with the emotional roller coaster my life was becoming. When my doctor informed me that I was in remission, a miracle since I never received any treatment for the disease, I was grateful for the second chance at life, and let me be clear that I never entertained suicidal thought, but by this point my destructive coping mechanisms were already deeply ingrained. At college I was majoring in both pre-veterinary biology and musical theater, and I was quite miserable. I love my parents, and am so thankful for everything they have done for me, but they pushed me into majoring in biology. Majoring in Art would have been a “waste of my brain”. Well half way through my second year of college the final straw broke, I dropped out of school, and I finally sought the help of a psychologist. I began both talk and art therapy, art saved my life. Expressing my emotions through drawing and painting gave me a positive coping mechanism, a healthy alternative to the destructive behavior I had practiced for so long. For me, art was the light at the end of the darkest tunnel in my life, it was the rope I held onto while I pulled myself up and out of the darkness for good. That is why I chose the name Lux Aeterna. I went back to college, switched my major to Fine Art with a concentration in painting, and I took my life back. I am now a happy and healthy adult with a positive outlook, a passion for learning and helping others, and an immense love of life. “The Dance of Forgotten Memories” is my tribute to my story and my art. Though my memories are not forgotten, I have pulled them up and turned them into something beautiful. I want to thank all of you for letting me share my story, and my art with you.
I would like to also thank Trinity Art for nominating me for two blog awards, it means a lot to me
I don’t post all of my work to my blog, and I am still about 3 images behind in my Phantasmagoria series. If you would like to see more please visit Lux Aeterna Imaging on Facebook.